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Thursday vibes listen listen to the tales of this town. High of 76 today and is anyone else kinda ready for fall? The Feds fought fentanyl, the parallel parking contest pressed on, and PPS is in danger of closing up to 20 schools. I don’t have any fun alliteration for that last one. It just sucks. The Morrison Bridge will be lit with pink lights all week in honor of Dolly Parton.
🚨 THE NEWS
The Parallel Parking Competition is back
Last year's surprise hit is back. The Portland Parallel Parking Competition returns Sunday, August 30, at Southeast Pine and 29th, drawing national attention last year from outlets like Good Morning America. This year PBOT is getting involved, and KOIN meteorologist Josh Cozart will co-host commentary alongside local drag queen Nicole Onoscopi. Bring your best three-point turn energy, or just come watch other people attempt theirs. KOIN
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Feds say 3-year fentanyl crackdown has changed downtown
Federal prosecutors say a three-year downtown crackdown on fentanyl dealing, the Portland Project, has led to more than 100 arrests and prosecutions. Authorities have seized over 100 kilograms of fentanyl, 40 guns and $1.3 million in cash, enough fentanyl to kill Oregon's population 11 times over. U.S. Attorney Scott Bradford credited federal detention with keeping dealers off the street, and Police Chief Bob Day said overdoses are down. Most of those charged were in the country unlawfully and face deportation. Enforcement is now expanding into treatment centers and public housing. KATU
PPS opens school year warning of more closures ahead
Portland Public Schools opened the year at Rosa Parks Elementary with a warning: another brutal budget season is coming. Superintendent Kimberlee Armstrong said the district faces up to $65 million more in cuts, with 10 to 20 schools possibly consolidated or closed. Districtwide enrollment is down 2%, though elementary numbers are holding steady. A draft consolidation list goes to the school board in November. At Woodmere Elementary, PTO president Alyssa Brainard worries a closure could strip a low-income community of a school that keeps families housed and fed. KATU
🚲 WILLAMETTE BLVD IMPROVEMENT SPOTLIGHT
photo from portland.gov
N Willamette Boulevard Active Transportation Corridor Project is well underway. PBOT's $6.1 million overhaul of N Willamette Blvd between N Rosa Parks Way and N Richmond Avenue, adding 3 miles of concrete-protected bike lanes, new pedestrian crossings, and improved transit stops for TriMet's Line 44. It creates a continuous 5-mile bikeway linking St. Johns to MLK Jr. Blvd. Construction, underway since 2025, is expected to wrap this fall. WEBSITE
📚 ON THIS DAY
On August 27, 1883, Krakatoa's most violent eruption sent a sound wave heard nearly 3,000 miles away, one of the loudest sounds ever recorded.
🥳 UPCOMING EVENTS
🌧️ Well…
The world is better for having had Dolly Parton in it.
by Michael Simpson Contact: [email protected]